


burning night

by dhxrin



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Just gals being pals, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:54:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25225633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhxrin/pseuds/dhxrin
Summary: “It’s what she got for asking for more than a drop of a sun, for bathing in her radiance more than she is required. It brings her so much harm but she would never asked for anything else, not for the moon, not for every stars in the galaxy. Her sun may have hurt her but can she beam without it? She can not.”Padmé confessed to Sabé, it's not just the confession she have ever expected.
Relationships: Padmé Amidala & Sabé, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker (mentioned), Padmé Amidala/Sabé
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26





	burning night

Sabé watched as Padmé brushed her curly hair, she seems at peace. Her blue nightgown matches her so well that it seems the very clothe are the river where she and the handmaidens went to bathe and relax, it flows through her body like water. Padmé’s cheeks are rose pink because of the coldness of the night in Coruscant. Sabé noted the gleam she have now that wasn’t there before in Padmé’s face. How she is so at eased now compare to the last time she visited her.

It wasn’t exactly a good visit the last time she did, it was rather unpleasant with bad news. Danger was upon Padmé, everyone knows that, but it seems to be getting worse. Sabé doesn’t know if the help of the Jedi, named Anakin Skywalker, really helped but the boy already helped them before he even become a Jedi. He helped them in saving Naboo, she hope that he have helped them in saving Padmé too.

Looking at Padmé once more, maybe he did. She wasn’t so tensed now, not even stealing a glance from her windows from time to time. Her room wasn’t even guarded, they are just sitting alone in her living room. She have changed so much, Sabé almost feel bad for not witnessing what changed her in such way, for not being there. But looking at her face, she is still somehow the same girl she met years ago. Her first true friend, her Padmé.

“You’re staring.” Padmé said out of blue, she stopped brushing her hair and looked at Sabé directly.

“You’ve changed.”

Padmé smiled a little then, “How much? Am I unrecognizable anymore?”

Sabé snorted, “No, I’m pretty sure that I can recognized that clutter of bundle brunette locks everywhere.”

“My hair is not that bad!”

“You are not the one who tamed them for years to fit it into wigs and hairpieces, my friend.”

Padmé smiled a little bit bigger, probably reminiscing.

“You’re right, you are the one who knows my hair more than I do.”

“Oh, how much I want to get out of them.”

“Liar, you can never.” Padmé scrunched her nose at her then.

_I'm the right hand of Padmé Amidala Naberrie, and I will always be, even if someday she decided to follow her path somewhere else. I wouldn't trade my relationship with her for anything in the galaxy._

Sabé remembered her own words and said, “I really can never.”

They stay silent then just relaxing in each other’s company. Padmé look closely to Sabé, noticing that her closest of friend still looks at her with all the love a devotion she can and oh, how much she is hurting for her.

“Sabé, I need to tell you something.” Sabé then turned serious hearing the tone in her voice. What will Padmé can say that she is so full of worry? That she sounded so afraid that Sabé wouldn’t approve of it? What happ–

“I married Anakin Skywalker.”

Sabé’s train of thought stopped and so her world, the whole galaxy frozen as an ice. The river in Naboo stopped flowing for a moment, the grass stopped swaying. Her heart was silent, the broken pieces she have tried to put back together during the first time she have heard the same rejection before, slowly break to pieces again. 

She remembers that moment like it was still yesterday and not years ago.

 _I can’t be that dedicated to you_ , Padmé said. _I know_ , is her answer. She knows. She just didn’t know to how much extent she can fall apart.

The silence stretched on until it become too much for the both of them to bear, Padmé reached out first and took her hands.

 _Oh._ how much she can bring her pieces back together by a single touch.

“Are you happy and content?” She asked the only question that matters the most.

Padmé nodded, “Yes, as happy and content as I can be during this time.”

“Congratulations are in order then.” She tried her best to smile, to show her support, but it seems like she failed for Padmé held her hands tighter. For the first time in her life, she wishes Padmé would let go.

Still, she made no move to take her hands away.

“Are you alright, my friend? I can’t be sorry for it is my own happiness, but I do worry about you.” She said with so much conviction, Padmé have expected this. Padmé knows about her feelings, for she have said it many times, but not how much.

“Spare my feelings and stop worrying. You know me, I will support you in anything as long as you are not endangering yourself. Are you endangering yourself? Because if you are then I need to stop my own mission in Tatooine and return by your side, where I truly belong.”

Padmé didn’t have an answer then, either by her question or her last remark, she didn’t know. Then she heave a sigh and said, “I’m not in any kind of danger, my friend. I’m safe, I will always be now since he is by my side.”

Sabé took a deep breath.

Padmé changed for good, she is happy and well. Sabé couldn’t ask for more but it hurts.

“Did I ever had a chance?” She asked without thinking, surprising even herself. “No, don’t answer that. I–“

“I missed you like the sun every time you are not with me,” Padmé said cutting Sabé off, “Every time you have held my hands, saying your hands are mine, I feel a gleeful tug at my chest. The first time I have felt jealousy was when you looked at somebody else like I weren’t there, when you were ready to give her a kiss when you haven’t even looked at my lips. You bring me comfort, you gave me your support, you changed your name for me and went out of your way. You have changed your faith and destiny just because of me, I would always be grateful. When I can’t take the risks, it was you who did. You have always been braver than me, you shed light in the darkest time. You made me feel things I couldn’t understand before, feelings I couldn’t bear.”

Sabé was confused, utterly confused. “I don’t understand.”

“No, I never made you understand.” Padmé shifted a little bit closer to her, still holding her hands. “Maybe you had a chance and we both just didn’t see it or maybe I was just too afraid to take the risk for you the way I took it for him. But, I have loved you, more than in a way I should have but not more than I love him now.”

Sabé looked closely at her face, she have seen her in front of death and desperation but she have never seen Padmé so bare and vulnerable before. She assumed she is making the same expression.

“You had the chance, I just didn’t take the risk. I am not sorry, I can’t just take more from you than I already do. It would be too cruel of me.”

“What if I want you to take all of me ‘till I’m stripped of myself, ‘till I am just yours?”

“Then I wouldn’t know you anymore, I wouldn’t be able to love you anymore.”

Sabé for the first time since their conversation started, let out a real smile, “I can be just your shadow.”

Padmé hugged her, “A person with your glow shouldn’t just become my shadow. You are my beacon, a star.”

She held Padmé close and a tear dropped in her face, “A star in a vast galaxy.”

“That is not what I mean and you know it.”

“I know.” She just wish it doesn’t hurt. She leaned away and held Padmé in an arm length, “I’m truly happy for you.”

“I know, my friend. Thank you so much.” Padmé smiled at her, she was like a sun in the night and Sabe burned.

She burned more than before, she feel hot all over, it wasn’t the same warm, now it’s mutilating her pieces by pieces. It’s what she got for asking for more than a drop of a sun, for bathing in her radiance more than she is required. It brings her so much harm but she would never asked for anything else, not for the moon, not for every stars in the galaxy. Her sun may have hurt her but can she beam without it? She can not.

She slowly let go of her. Padmé didn’t.

“It’s late, you should rest and I still have a lot of things to do in the morning.”

“Will I see you then?”

“Yes. When the sun came out, I will already be here.”

Sabé moved away, this time Padmé let go. This time, Padmé bid her good night and left to go to her own room. This time, Sabé just watched her go away. In another galaxy, Sabé would witness Padmé turn around and take the risk. In another galaxy, it would be for her.

**Author's Note:**

> sabé: so true queen are you single? 
> 
> padmé: haha no, i'm married to anakin skywalker.


End file.
